Wednesday, April 4, 2012

DINNER (A-Z April Blog Challenge)


When we were all home, there were seven of us gathered at the dinner table each evening.  Dad and Mom at either end, the two oldest boys in chairs on one side and us three younger girls along the deacon’s bench on the backside.  If you were home, you were at the table. It wasn’t a strict rule, just the everyday expectation.  They were talkative times with laughter and discussion and everyone took part. 

Setting the table was the girls’ job and the same whether you were eating at the dining room table or the picnic table on the back porch.  A tablecloth (often linen), plates, silverware, and napkins.  Then, there was the MANTRA…Salt, pepper, cream, sugar, bread, butter.  Salt, pepper, cream, sugar, bread, butter.  Salt, pepper, cream, sugar, bread, butter.  If you forgot an item, writing out the mantra 25 times, or 50 times after dinner, as the soft wood of the table absorbed the words through the paper, was a sure bet way that you were going to remember those six items next time.    


Honesty disclaimer - I never ate the prunes!

It was always good, basic food.  But often, there were “family recipes” that were outstanding.  One most notable was Noodles and Prunes:  homemade egg noodles made early in the morning and then cut into thick strips and laid to dry on newspapers throughout the day.  Cooked in boiling water and turned crisp on the outside by being finished in a frying pan with butter.  Tossed with big, fluffy  homemade croutons and cooked prunes.  A pile of those put on your plate and dusted with table sugar and you thought you’d died and gone to heaven. 

Our schedules weren’t crazy for seven people.  There weren’t sport practices or dance lessons to get to.  None of us stayed after cool until 6 or 7 in the evening.  Meals wove our lives together.  It was a constant, a touchstone, for us.  

Forward to dinner in my house and not my parents and you’d find the MANTRA is gone, but the linen tablecloths, the desire to share good food, and the value of sharing a meal is the same, just with less people.  We are a family of three, Steve, Abram and me.  It’s always been a priority for us to have our evening meal together.  And just as it was when I grew up, Abram’s always had an opportunity to speak and be heard.  As a child, we never “dumbed down” the conversation, which is why as he grew into an adult, our conversations still flow so easily.  We talked about how our work days were or how things were going at school.  We had political, financial, religious and ethical discussions.  One of the most memorable and heartfelt conversation for me at our table was when Abram shared this.  

We celebrated new friends that entered our lives and mourned the people we loved and lost.  We shared our dream, our insecurities, our fears and turned to each other to help us through troubling times. We told jokes and puns, developing  our own “Morgan Humor”, and amidst all this, quite often, dinner conversation lasted way past when the forks were all laid down. 

Dinner time. Our constant. Generation to Generation. Nice…………

20 comments:

  1. What an awesome post. I remember supper times at the table--they were always so important growing up. I wish I could say we do the same here each night--but we are a family of mix-matched schedules--and it seems we are never around the table for dinner at the same time, but we do usually have breakfast together. It is quiet and it starts our day off with a usually very peaceful and very calm family moment.

    Cheers, Jenn.
    http://www.wine-n-chat.com

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    1. It's all what works for you and your family Jenn. Sounds like a great way to start the day. :)

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  2. Great post. Never had that experience as a child - my very strict father's view was 'children should be seen and not heard = especially during mealtimes'!

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  3. Our family makes a point of always having dinner together -- and breakfast on the weekends, if we can manage it. And everyone's welcome to speak.

    Erin

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  4. Family meals are SO important. Sadly, Daddy is never home for ours. So it is me with the two boys but I do have a set table and napkins in napkin rings and we do say Grace .It's as much about manners and respect for others as it is about sitting down and being together.

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    1. My mohter would SO love to hear about your set table, napkin rings and Grace - i'm sure they'll carry that forward with them!

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  5. That sounds nice. Family meals are a good part of any day.

    Your blog is very nice, by the way! Happy A to Z. :)

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    1. Thanks Mikazuki. Checked out your blog as well. Loved the drawings from today and the dog I grew up with was nemd Ginger. Your little black and white kitty looks like the one we had named Monday. Enjoy the rest of the month!

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  6. I also think family dinner is important. Our kids try to make that work with their crazy schedules, but they do try.
    And the wonderful sharing your son managed to get through at dinner was great. "Pass the potatoes" the perfect dad response. lol What a great story.

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    1. Thanks Jo - it was an amazing conversation with Abram and he did so wonderfully. And "pass the potatoes" has pretty much become THE tag line for our family. And it was classic Steve. :) thanks for checking out Abe's story - I love to be able to share it with others.

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  7. Wonderful post and peek into the making of a connected family. We ate as a family when my kids were growing up, too. A lot of talking and sharing--and the occasional conversation that got really interesting! ;O)

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  8. Yes dinner time is valuable time.

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  9. That is the best time of the day, when the family gathers. Love it!

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com/

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  10. Amy, jumped over and read Abe's piece, then back to yours. You and your husband can be truly proud for raising a son so proud and confident in himself. "Pass the potatoes," I love it! :-)

    When I raised my son, as a single mom, we didn't often have the kind of dinner table gatherings you describe, and I envy them a little bit. But we did have chats at the ball field, after his games, watching the next game while we ate hot dogs or burgers or teriyaki kebabs, about his day in school and what he liked about his game and whether we agreed the manager should have pulled the pitcher then or left him in another inning.

    I like the idea of the dinner table, but I think key to it working it not so much the location, as the idea of being a family, truly interested in each other and one another's opinions.

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    1. thanks for checking out Abe's piece Beverly. And I totally agree - it's the interest in each other and the talking, no matter where that happens that strengthens that connection.

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  11. Wonderful post, I didn't have it much during teenage years but when I was young you had dinner every night with a glass of milk, no exceptions. :)

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  12. When the first litter were growing up, we rarely enjoyed the Dinner Time experience...I worked to much and lots of night hours...I really missed that precious experience with them...now we have Dinner at 6, all around the table while Doug tells us of his day of working miracles and the yummy noises abound...life is so good

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  13. Sounds fabulous Kelly. Looking forward to breaking bread with you guys in June!

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  14. Lovely post, Amy. What nice memories you have. Unfortunately our family dinners growing up were not always so calm and nurturing. And Abe has certainly inherited your writing talent--such a well-done and heartfelt article!

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    1. I remember those days too! my family gets together and they still happen today! All about family here!

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