Saturday, July 7, 2012

Finding The Wave Again

 
You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back.  ~William D. Tammeus
I don’t recall waving to my parents from a merry-go-round, but I do recall, every single time I left home as a child, whether to go to school or to play at a friend’s house, one or the other (sometimes both) standing at the front door waving goodbye.  Then as an adult, leaving each other’s houses, still waving from the doorway.     
Without a doubt, I’d come to take that gesture for granted, as evidenced by how terribly much I’ve missed in the three years since they both passed away.  This past month, I’ve been surprised and fortunate to be blessed with a little ease to the ache of missing that particular gesture.      
Mom & Dad's bands
Along with waves from the doorway, I grew up hearing the story of how my parents had not taken their wedding bands off since the day they placed them on each other’s hands, May 20, 1949.  Refused to remove them for surgeries, job related hazards or during troubled times in their marriage.  That story, that gesture of love and devotion, resonated so deeply with me that I have not taken mine off since March 19, 1983, when Steven placed mine on my hand (and barring a hand soaping incident or two for Steve, neither has he).    

In 1990, my mother had a bicycle accident and broke her left wrist.  The emergency room doctor gave her the choice of cutting the band off or losing her finger. After much discussion with my father, she did finally allow them to cut it off, and replaced it as soon as she could with her second band which didn’t leave her finger until the day she died. 
Early in their marriage, my dad worked for Addressograph Multigraph and during a service call, had his hand caught in a machine.  It did serious damage to his thumb and bent his band considerably, but he never removed his either. 
So of all the many possessions that came and went in my parents’ lives, their rings were what I viewed as their constant.  When they passed three years ago, and us five kids sorted their possessions, their rings were what I most desired and was graciously granted. 

I always knew that I wouldn’t wear either band or my mother’s engagement ring as stand-alone pieces, but also did not want them to simply sit in my jewelry box to be looked at every now and again. They’d meant too much to sit unused, collecting dust.
Yet for three years, they did just that.  And then I took them out of my jewelry box and rings in hand, went to my jeweler friend, Reg Shopp of deSignet International.    I explained the history of the pieces and what I wanted to do. 

I have this thing with the number three,” I told him.  It’s been three years since my parents died.  And I have their wedding bands and my mom’s engagement ring which has three diamonds in it.  There’s the relationship of myself and my parents as a group of three.  And then there’s the group of three that is myself, my husband and our son.  I’m envisioning melting it all down, making a braid of three strands of gold and making three pieces, a ring and a pair of earrings, to represent all those symbolic groups of three, intertwined.
New ring and earrings
A few months later, when I picked up the finished pieces, I was overcome by the intense connection I felt to my mom and dad as I slid on the ring.  The beauty of it took my breath away, but the significance behind what I now wore on my hand, the near 60 years of my parent’s marriage, their love and commitment woven together, was overwhelming.
Any doubt I had about changing the pieces vanished as I thought of what they’d worn separately all those years, being melted down and brought together.  
I wear the three pieces every day now.  And every once in a while, I walk past a mirror and glimpse the earrings, or glance down as a ray of light dances across the face of the ring, and feel the warm caress of a gentle wave from the doorway. 


16 comments:

  1. What a beautiful and thoughtful way to honor their rings.

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  2. Beautiful way to connect with them, remember them, honor them. I love this piece.

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  3. Thanks Mari & Elizabeth. It does feel good to do so.

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  4. Oh Amy, that touched my heart and apparently my eyes. They are slightly leaking. It is so beautifully crafted and woven exactly as the gold. You have created two irreplaceable tangible tributes to the love and character of your parents. The jewelry and this magnificent piece of writing. It's my very favorite of all you have done. And that is saying a great deal.

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    1. Jo, I never thought of the writing piece as a tribute as well. So sweet of you to point that out for me. Glad you enjoyed it and your conmmens as alwasy are so appreciated.

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  5. Three is a magical number used in may tales... Hey even children's stories used the number three. The three pigs, the three bears, the three Billy goats Gruff... The Father, Son and Holy spirit... Three is great! Good for you for changing the beauty!

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    1. Thanks for stopping by to read and the nubmer three rocks doesn't it?

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  6. Amy, this is such a lovely story, and it doesn't surprise me in the least that you did this. It's a beautiful gesture of love for your parents, your husband, and your son. The number three does have magic, and I love the way you used it symbolically. Three rings, three people, three new pieces of jewelry. It was an inspired act, and so is this piece as an answer to the prompt of a dear possession. So well done!

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    1. Thanks Elaine. They are quite special to me.

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  7. This is a lovely story and such a lasting tribute and a way to keep them with you always. I loved it. It is cool you were able to have their rings which must have meant everything to them.

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

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    1. They certainly did Kathy and I feel very lucky to have become the keeper of what they meant.

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  8. what a lovely, lovely idea and sentiment.

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  9. Sandra & Lynn - thank you both. I was quite pleased with the result of the writing piece as well as the jewelry pieces! :)

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  10. That's a beautiful tribute to your parents. I love the way the gold was fitted together.

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

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  11. Thank you Joyce! Feels great to have them "with me" every day.

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